Kings of the Castle

It happens all the time. People from other area codes trying to front on the 801. When are people going to learn? Yo, y’all suckas from the 435, 702, 307 and every other area code listen up! WE ARE THE KINGS OF THIS CASTLE WE CALL THE UNITED STATES. That ain’t never gonna change. If you want this crown, come and get it son.

In 2002 this happened. My homeboy Trevor, from the ace deuce, was attending school at Colorado State in the 970. The 801 and the 970 had always kept it cordial. That is until this trip. It’s like kids these days don’t get it. They don’t understand. We built the foundation of the game. These 970 cats needed to learn. So my homeboys and I from the 801 decided to take them to “Keepin’ it real 101.” Let me tell you, when me and my boys are teaching, we don’t give no free passes. Just ask those 970 clowns.

The purpose of our trip was to attend the Michigan-Colorado State basketball game. You see, my homey Rotolu played for the Wolverines. I learned at a young age that your homeboys are like your family. I had to show my support, even if it meant a seven hour drive. My boys Kendall and Beau were now my brothers from the 801. When I told them Ro was my boy, they said “we don’t care how far it is, let’s roll.” (Big ups to Beau and Kendall)

My boys and I rolled to the arena in Maize and Blue. From the second we walked in people was frontin’. It was obvious they knew where we was from. I mean, when you are from the 801 you walk with a different swag. Some people call it arrogance, I call it confidence. The confidence that comes from keepin’ it real your whole life.

All game the crowd is mocking us, mimicking our cheers, and talking junk. This was fine. When you are on top of your game this type of thing doesn’t bother you. It is a sign of respect. If you from the 801, you might as well be Floyd Mayweather Jr. when it comes to verbal sparring. You could tell this bothered the crowd. I could read their minds. “They were thinking, how can we rattle these guys?” The answer, you can’t! Playas from the 801 is as calm as Utah Lake on a windless day.

In the second half, tensions mounted. The band, which was right across from us, started talkin’ some serious ish. We simply pointed out the obvious, that anyone in the band generally was a nerd that didn’t have the social skills or physical ability to do anything cool. For some reason this made them mad. I didn’t feel bad though. The truth hurts sometimes. It’s far more important to keep it real than worry about how someone might feel if you do keep it real.

Then it happened. The band crossed over from verbal sparring to physically disrespecting us. This is where thugs from the 801 draw the line. A girl from the band crept down from behind with a Mountain Dew in her hand. As she walked by, she shook up the can, opened it and threw it down at our feet. Immediately she started to run back to the band section.

My immediate reaction was to put the lights out on all those band members. Anger filled my body. I reached to my belt where I happened to have an AK 47 handy when I felt Beau’s hand grab me. He said, “Wait, look.” I turned to my left and watched Kendall, who is Asian and quicker than a cat, pick up the can (which was still full) and throw as hard as he could right into the spine of the girls back. Her reaction was as if she had been hit by a bullet. She fell from the last step to the floor holding her back and rolling around.

The whole band watched in awe. The usher ran over and started to open her mouth. Before she could say a word Kendall yelled, “Get your fans under control or I will!” The usher turned, walked to the band and told them to calm down. We didn’t hear another word for the rest of the night.

Interestingly, I heard something completely different when Kendall was yelling. I had to be told what he said later that night. While Kendall moved his lips I heard him saying, “801 son. That is where I am from. You punk 970 chumps better recognize. Do one more thing and I will lay you six feet under!” Even if he didn’t say this, the message was clear. People from the 970 know what will happen if they ever show disrespect toward the 801. If any other area codes have any doubt, you can get dealt with just like the 970 did!